Written by: Erika Fletcher, MACP (Candidate), Counsellor at Peak Resilience
Book a session with me | erikafletchercounselling@gmail.com
When Joy Isn’t the Only Thing You’re Feeling
Whether you’re preparing to become a parent, recovering from a pregnancy loss, or adjusting to life with a new baby, this season of life is a lot. It’s common to expect a mix of emotions, but when feelings like sadness, guilt, anxiety, or emotional numbness start to take over, you might wonder: Is this supposed to feel this way?
You’re not alone if you feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or like parts of you are disappearing in this new chapter. The transition to parenthood is a major identity shift, and it doesn’t come with a clear manual. Counselling can be a powerful way to process what you’re going through and reconnect with yourself along the way.
What Is Perinatal Depression?
Perinatal depression goes beyond what’s commonly known as the “baby blues.” It involves symptoms of depression that can begin during pregnancy or within the first year after giving birth. As Carlson et al. (2025) explain, this condition may include ongoing sadness, feelings of low self-esteem, challenges in connecting with the baby, and in some cases, thoughts of self-harm. Sadly, it’s often missed or minimized, especially when new parents feel they should appear happy, thankful, or “have it all together.”
But perinatal depression is real. And more importantly, it’s treatable. Therapy can be a safe place to untangle these emotions and begin healing.
The Invisible Grief of Pregnancy Loss
Experiencing a miscarriage or early pregnancy loss can leave lasting emotional pain, whether others recognize it or not. Research shows that individuals with a history of miscarriage may face a higher likelihood of depression after a future birth (Bicking Kinsey et al., 2015).
Not everyone who goes through this kind of loss will develop depression, but that doesn’t make your grief any less valid. Counselling can provide a compassionate space to process what you’re feeling, without pressure to move on before you’re ready.
Reaching out early can make a difference. Evidence suggests that receiving short-term support soon after a miscarriage may help lower the chances of developing anxiety or depression (Barbe et al., 2023). You don’t have to wait for a crisis to ask for help.
Becoming a Parent Is a Full-System Shift
We often talk about having a baby like it’s a one-time event. But becoming a parent changes everything – your identity, your relationships, your sense of self.
Deave et al. (2008) found that many new parents felt unprepared; not just for the sleepless nights or diaper changes, but for how their inner world and partnerships would shift. This isn’t just about logistics. It’s about adjusting to a whole new way of being in the world.
That transition can be joyful and fulfilling, but it can also bring doubt, grief for your old life, and stress in your closest relationships. Counselling can help you make sense of that transformation and feel more grounded through it.
You Don’t Have to “Push Through It” Alone
If you’ve been telling yourself:
- “I should be happy.”
- “It’s not bad enough to need help.”
- “Other people have it worse.”
I want you to know that your experience is valid. Therapy isn’t about having the “worst” problems. It’s about having support for the things that matter to you. Whether you’re facing perinatal depression, healing from a loss, or navigating the identity shift of becoming a parent – your story deserves space.
As a practicum counsellor completing my Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology, I offer reduced-cost sessions at Peak Resilience. I support clients navigating:
- Feeling more grounded and supported as a new parent
- Pregnancy loss and grief
- Mood and anxiety during pregnancy or postpartum
- Identity shifts and relationship changes in early parenthood
Let’s Work Together
You don’t have to wait until you’re “really struggling” to reach out. If you’re feeling unsettled, overwhelmed, or just need someone to talk to, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you.
Click here to book a session with me
Or reach out by email: erikafletchercounselling@gmail.com
You’re not just adjusting to life with a baby. You’re growing into a new version of yourself. And that’s worth supporting.
References (APA 7)
Barbe, C., Boiteux-Chabrier, M., Charillon, E., Bouazzi, L., Maheas, C., Merabet, F., Graesslin, O., Auer, J., Hammami, S., Rolland, A. C., & Hurtaud, A. (2023). Utility of early, short psychological care for women who experience early miscarriage: Protocol for the randomized, controlled MisTher trial. BMC Psychology, 11(1), 368. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-023-01421-x
Bicking Kinsey, C., Baptiste-Roberts, K., Zhu, J., & Kjerulff, K. H. (2015). Effect of previous miscarriage on depressive symptoms during subsequent pregnancy and postpartum in the first baby study. Maternal and Child Health Journal, 19(2), 391–400. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10995-014-1521-0
Carlson, K., Mughal, S., & Azhar, Y. (2025). Perinatal depression. In StatPearls. StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519070/Deave, T., Johnson, D., & Ingram, J. (2008). Transition to parenthood: The needs of parents in pregnancy and early parenthood. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 8, 30. https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-2393-8-30
Deave, T., Johnson, D., & Ingram, J. (2008). Transition to parenthood: The needs of parents in pregnancy and early parenthood. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 8, 30. https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-2393-8-30
